The Power of Imagination

בס”ד

imagination1

By Yossi Zilber

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Do you feel most of the time a feeling of heaviness and lack of will?

Do you hear words of strength, feel strengthened for two minutes or two hours, and then feel a sinking feeling?

You surely believe that you have an amazing soul and that G-d is crazy about you, but do you actually feel that most of the time?

All of us have an inclination, sometimes hidden and sometimes revealed, to feel that the words of faith we hear are beautiful and give us strength, but they are not really connected to me! I really have problems. For example: It’s true that everyone is going through difficulties, but my story is ‘truly sad’. It’s true that I can achieve wonderful things, but I just don’t dedicate myself enough. I really want to actualize myself, but I’m busy all the time putting out fires at home. The minute that I can be free of all of these obstacles I can truly grow.

And there are many, many more viewpoints that tell me I’m not exactly part of this amazing world of serving G-d, making progress, going through ups and downs.

I’m not a 100 percent sure that I’m actually going to heal my life. I’m not a 100 percent sure that my wife or husband and my children can receive from me everything they need with no exceptions, and that there is truly no obstacle that’s preventing me from giving this to them.

Rebbe Natan says, “Every person who has fallen to the low place he’s fallen, it seems to him that these words (of faith and strength) were not said to him, because it seems to him that these words were only said to those who are on a high level. However, he should know and believe that all of these words are intended also for the smallest and lowest person, because G-d is good to everyone always.”

What does he mean when he says ‘to the (low) place he’s fallen’? Rebbe Natan repeats these words many times in his writings. Rebbe Nachman spoke to each and everyone one of us, from the greatest tzaddik to the person on the lowest level, and even if you feel that these words were not said to you- nevertheless believe that he’s also speaking to you! Yes, to you!

What is meant by the word “fall”? Do they mean only a person who’s fallen into sins, someone who’s been tempted by bad desires?

To tell you the truth- I always understood that to be the intention. Every time that Rebbe Nachman and Rebbe Natan speak about decline and falling, they are talking about someone who’s not so successful in serving G-d, and sometimes he even falls into sin G-d forbid.

But if that is the case then where are we stuck? Somebody who keeps the Torah and stays within the boundaries of Jewish law, and even learns Torah every day and does personal prayer- what is causing him to be stuck? Why does he feel so disconnected, so lonely, so lacking inspiration? Why does he feel that his life is not really going anywhere?

Rebbe Nachman says in Likutei Moharan that we need to change the name of the evil inclination to “the power of imagination.” That is to say the evil inclination is not something that pushes you to do sins or convinces you not to fulfill mitzvoth. Rather the evil inclination is all the imaginations and thoughts in your head that cause you to give up, that cause you to think you have no chance.

The evil inclination is the collection of all the difficult experiences that we interpreted in a way that caused us to feel stuck for many years.

In simple words- the challenge of our times is in our emotions. The world of our emotions is the main battlefield in our service of G-d. Even when we are dealing with failings in sins and bad desires, when we look deeper at the situation we see that the true subject is actually a (difficult) emotion which needs our attention.

Therefore, when Rebbe Natan writes that even if you’ve fallen to the place you’ve fallen you should know that Rebbe Nachman is also speaking to you- he’s actually saying to us: even inside of your difficult feelings, even inside the life crisis you find yourself in, G-d is with you and near you, you’re not alone, you have a chance to leave the difficulty at any moment.

Tears

בס”ד

tearsBy Rav Yisrael Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

One of the most special gates in heaven is called the gate of tears. The Talmud says about this gate (Brachot 32) “Rabbi Elazar said, from the day that the Temple was destroyed the gates of prayer were sealed, but the gates of tears were not sealed, as the verse says, “Hear my prayer, Hashem, give ear to my outcry, be not mute to my tears. ”

The Holy Zohar says: “Rabbi Yehuda said, the verse says about the future, ‘In tears they will come, with supplications I will bring them’. What is the meaning of ‘In tears they will come’? In the merit of the mother of the child (the mother of the Jewish people), who is Rachel, the people will come and be gathered in from the exile. And Rabbi Yitzhak said the redemption of the Jewish people only depends on crying, as the verse states ‘In tears they will come’.”

The midrash says on Chapter 137 of Psalms: “All of the exiled people lifted their eyes and saw that Jeremiah had departed from them, they all cried and screamed out , Our teacher Jeremiah behold you’re leaving us by ourselves, and they cried there, as the verse states ‘By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat and also wept.’ Jeremiah answered and said to them, I testify in the name of heaven and earth that if you had cried out once while you were still in Zion, you would not have been exiled. ”

Halacha (Practical Laws):

  1. It’s forbidden for a person to cry on Shabbat or bring himself to sorrow. However, if a person feels better when he cries because it relieves the sorrow in his heart there are opinions that permit him to cry on Shabbat.
  2. A person should always be careful how he speaks to his wife, because her tears come easily. (Bava Metzia 59)
  3. The holy Arizal, may his merit protect us, said that every person should try to cry during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and shed tears before G-d. From his tears he will merit to have a good year and good decrees.
  4. “A person who cries over a kosher person is forgiven for all his sins”, and “G-d counts and stores in his treasure house the tears of some who sheds tears over a kosher person.” (Shabbat 105)

Simple ideas:

The verse says in Psalms, “G-d is close to all who call upon him, to all who call upon him sincerely”, that is to say the most easily accepted prayer is one that comes from the heart. The phenomenon of crying is usually connected to reaching the deeper more essential places inside a person. The Holy Zohar says, “There is nothing more important before G-d than tears, because a person’s heart and will and whole being are awakened through the tears.”

“Tears come out from the depths of submission and proper intent and they testify to a broken heart. “(Rabbenu Bachye) Therefore a prayer which is accompanied by tears is a more accepted prayer, as the sages said in Brachot 32: Even though the gates of prayer were sealed, the gates of tears were not sealed.

In-depth ideas:

  1. The Ramchal, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato, writes: “Crying causes great rectifications in heaven and sweetens harsh decrees.” The Holy Arizal, Rabbi Yitzhak Luria, explained the reason for this: It’s known that salty water hints to the attribute of harsh judgment and sweet water hints to the attribute of kindness. Therefore when a person sheds tears, which are made of salty water, this is hinting to the fact that the harsh decree has been washed away from him.

There is a general principle in Judaism that a spiritual awakening from below causes an awakening above. That is to say that when a person does an action hear on earth, he causes the same action to happen in heaven. Therefore, when a person prays to G-d and sheds tears at the time of his prayer, he brings out from inside of himself the salty tears through crying, which hint at judgment, and automatically in heaven the decree is nullified and removed from him.

  1. It is known that cutting an onion brings tears to the world. The reason this is so can be explained by the Rambam’s teaching, (Yesodei HaTorah Chapter 3), that all of the planets and galaxies are placed one on top of the other like the layers of an onion. That is to say that each one envelopes another, smaller one, just like placing a ball inside of another ball. The Sages said in the Gemara that the gates of tears are not closed, that means that when a person wants to break through to a new path, to enter a new ‘world’, this is done through tears.

The reason that tears break through the heavens is because tears come to a person from his mind, as the Zohar says “The source of all water and liquids in the body is from the brain.” The brain is the most important part of the body because that is where the soul resides, and the soul is the highest part of our being. Therefore, when somebody cries he connects himself to the highest part of himself, his soul, and he merits through his tears to reach new spiritual levels.

Personal level:

  1. The Maharal explains why praying with tears is such a great level of serving G-d. “Prayer is the essence of the world, and immediately after Adam was created he prayed to G-d”. There are prayers which cause things in the world to come into existence. An example of this was when Adam prayed for rain. Something which is supposed to grow seemingly in a natural way is actually waiting for a prayer to be prayed for it to grow. Through this type of prayer man helps bring completion to the world.

And then there are prayers which are characterized by tears. “A tear causes a person to lose his strength, until it is released from him.” As long as a person thinks there’s a chance to deal with the problem he’s facing, or deceives himself that he has the solution, he won’t cry. Only when he agrees to see clearly his difficult, confusing situation, the tears will burst forth. That is to say he truly feels a deep lacking in his life and his prayer of tears is seeking only G-d, because only He can fill such a deep feeling of lacking, “a tear only wants the King” (Zohar). The gates of tears have not been sealed for this reason, because tears are not connected to obtaining something in this world, rather the gates of tears are gates to reach G-d, and these gates cannot be sealed.

  1. It’s written in Likutei Moharan (Torah 250): “Tears take away part of a person’s sight, and tears are the aspect of divine providence and vision. When a person is in sorrow and he sheds tears, he needs G-d’s providence to provide him a salvation, and therefore a person sheds tears in order to bring upon himself divine providence.”

When someone is crying he’s not able to speak and the tears prevent him from seeing clearly. That is to say that crying gives expression to a situation which can’t be expressed in words. When somebody cries he releases from himself uncontrolled sounds, and at the same time tears flow from his eyes and cloud his vision. He finds himself in a situation where he’s not able to speak and not able to see well. Our connection to the outside world is through our mouths and eyes, and at a time of confusion the windows are closed and the connection to outer world stops. Exactly in this situation, when somebody can’t see and he has lost control, he gives space for divine providence to influence him with abundance from above.

It’s important to point out that tears don’t come forcefully when someone decides to cry. They come when G-d decides to let them come to someone.

When somebody agrees to work on himself and allows himself to feel pain without knowing the solution or seeking to blame someone else, in the end the tears will come.

 

 

Parshat Nitzavim

Parashat Nitzavim

In Breslov a Fire Burns

Spiritual feelings, which we despaired of, come to life again… suddenly I exist.  Suddenly I’m wanted.  Suddenly I’m alive.

Harav Israel Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Monday, 23rd of Elul, 5776

BS”D

Rosh Hashanah is getting closer.  In kitchens, mothers are working diligently preparing tasty dishes and separating the pomegranate seeds; synagogues are preparing for the holiday prayers and for receiving the many prayer goers; in pre-schools children are singing about the three books which are opened and how everyone is waiting for the Day of Judgment…

In the field, tens of thousands of sheep, of all types of colors, sizes and categories, catch the signal and hear the call of the shepherd of the souls, and pack their suitcases- and take off.

Uman Rosh Hashanah.

Rebbe Natan teaches: “Before Rosh Hashanah we read the Torah portion ‘You are standing today, all of you, before Hashem, your God…’, to let us know that all the souls of the Jewish people, great and small, need to gather together in love in the lofty holiness, in the aspect of the holy of holies, the foundation stone[1], the universal knowledge, who is the aspect of Moshe, the aspect of the True Tsaddik, everyone needs to travel to him for Rosh Hashanah.” (Likutei Halachot, the laws of deposits and the four types of guards, 5th Halacha)

Much has been said about the great gathering which has no rival.  Many pictures, many descriptions, many explanations.  However mainly, there is new life and renewal, which is above and beyond words.

What does Breslov truly offer?  What is this fire which is growing and bursting into flames, being light and passed from person to person in the open and in hiding, crosses lines and sectors of society, definitions and positions, ages and types of dress, (political) parties and communities, and brings a spark to the eyes and a warm feeling of secret belonging in the heart?  What does every person who comes close to Breslov reveal when his heart opens and he sings the well know prayer of Rebbe Natan, “in Breslov a fire burns, please let it burn in my heart?”

Rebbe Nachman, who testified about himself that he is the ‘healer of souls’, received from Hashem this gift, the ability to awaken us from the deep internal sleep which we’ve fallen into.  Everyone who meets his words experiences this in a different way, however deeply, the same thing happens to all of us: suddenly we realized that we exist.  We’re important.  Good and beloved.  Precious and close to Hashem.  And the world, truly and without exaggerating, needs us.  It needs our tallit and tefilin, our faith, our hope, and ‘the words which come from our heart’.

In one of his stories Rebbe Nachman describes a beggar, who knew how to ‘make voice callas’ from a great distance, also through walls and barriers.  That’s exactly what he does at every moment- he brings a heavenly voice to the complicated and sealed place where find ourselves, which comes out from Mount Sinai every day, and awakens us from the terrible spiritual slumber which we have sunken into.

‘Vitality in learning’, ‘praying with intention’, ‘closeness to Hashem’, ‘taking an accounting of your soul’, ‘returning to Hashem’, words which became worn and empty become relevant again.  Spiritual feelings, which we despaired of, come to life again… suddenly I exist.  Suddenly I’m wanted.  Suddenly I live with faith, that something good will come out of this life, and maybe my time in the world is not actually lost, maybe I even have a chance to truly be a virtuous person.  Maybe I’ll leave the world without missing the goal…

It’s told about the Baal Shem Tov[2] that he once saw a Jew standing by the river, with a box of diamonds in his hands, and because he didn’t understand their value he threw them one after the other into the water while enjoying the splash of the waves…

In one leap the Baal Shem Tov reached him, snatching the precious treasure chest from his hands while calling, “Beloved Jew, what are you doing?  You’re throwing your precious stones into the river?!”

The man immediately awakened, understanding what he was doing and he began to cry.

“Give me the chest”, the Baal Shem Tov said to him, “I’ll guard for you your treasures.”

The students of Rebbe Nachman added to this story the following ending: “After not so many years, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov passed by this place, and he too saw a Jew standing on the edge of the river with a chest of diamonds, and he was throwing them into the river one by one.

In one leap he reaches him, grabs from his hand the chest and calls, “Beloved Jew, what are you doing?  You’re throwing your precious stones into the river?”

The Jew wakes up at once, understands what he did and begins to cry over his lost treasures.

“Don’t worry,” Rebbe Nachman tells him, “I will watch over you,” and he takes the Jew and throws him into the river, “now go gather the diamonds that you threw”…

His messages awaken us to recognize who we are and what our treasures are, and the ‘(soul) corrections’ which each person who comes close to him begins to go through, happen exactly because of this reason- he throws us into the depth and we go through what we go through, while we are looking in the depths after the precious stones which we’ve thrown…

“And by gathering together by the foundation stone, the universal knowledge, we merit each and every one of us to renew his intellect, until he can sweeten all kinds of strict judgments and difficult situations.  From there (from the gathering with the Tsaddik) a sweetening is brought to each and every one in his place and in his time, each person should according to his level, in his place and his home, or on the way wherever he is, according to how he is at that moment, he should know very well that at that moment he can attach himself to Hashem from his place.  From all of the blemishes and confusions and crookedness in the heart that he is going through, each person according to his place and time; everything is sweetened and nullified by the lofty universal knowledge mentioned above.” (ibid)

There is a way to be truly alive.  There is a way to sweetened also the darkness.  You can live here in this world at the end of 5776- and the beginning of 5777, and succeed in smiling from amongst the emotional jungle and the technological terror surrounding us.  You can feel that there is a thick rope which is holding us even in the lowest depths.  These are not handcuffs; it is a life rope filled with hugs!

It’s possible.  There is a way.  There is a shepherd.  There is Uman Rosh Hashanah…

By way of including ourselves in the foundation stone, Rebbe Natan says, a tremendous sweetening is brought upon us!  Everyone should know, according to who he is, where he is, at whatever time- that right now, he is wanted and loved and can cling to Hashem with true attachment.

 

[1] In our tradition, this is the stone that Jacob rested upon when he had a dream on the Temple Mount; in the First Temple, the Ark of the Covenant was placed upon this stone. Here, Rebbe Natan is referring to Rebbe Nachman.

[2] Founder of the Chassidic movement

Parashat Ki Tavo

Abba, Renew Me

I don’t know who I was yesterday.  I don’t recognize who I was an hour ago.  I am born now.  Hi, mazal tov, a Jew has come into the world.

Harav Israel Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Monday, 16th of Elul 5776

BS”D

Our most difficult problem in all areas of life; between ourselves, between us and Hashem and between us and our surroundings is feeling old.

Do you recognize this feeling?

It is like a wrinkled elderly woman in a wheel chair; a tired old lady with a hunchback; a woman with a husky voice from age, like she’s finished.

Every place we go she comes with us.  She forces us to limp according to her pace.  She commands us according to her experience.  She already knows everything.

‘You want to work on your desire to overeat?  You make me laugh… I already know you from when you were in the crib.  You would gluttonously eat 180 grams each hour…  And yesterday you promised that you would stop eating chocolate, and after 20 minutes you broke down and finished a whole bar… and this morning with the quiche…  So, really, you want to work on overeating?  Forget about it, there’s nothing to talk about!  I know everything about you, I have documentation and a certificate…’

What do we do with this sorceress?  How do we manage against her?

This week’s Torah portion, Ki Tavo, opens with the mitzvah of the first fruits:  “It will be when you enter the Land… that you shall take of the first of every fruit of the ground… and you shall put it in a basket… You shall come to whoever will be the Kohen…” (Devarim[1], Chapter 26, Verses 1-10)  Land owners in the Land of Israel are commanded to bring to the Temple the first fruits which grew on their land, and give them to the Kohen.

And what if I don’t have a field and a vineyard?  And what if I don’t live in the Land of Israel?  And what if there is no Kohen and Holy Temple to bring the first fruits to?

Even then this mitzvah is obligatory:  “The first fruits are the aspect of renewal.  Land owners need to bring their new ripened fruits, which grow anew every year… that a person needs to renew himself each time and to begin again every time… and this is what is written ‘In the beginning’[2] etc., and the Sages explained that because of the first fruits which are called ‘the first’ the world was created… that the main reason for creating the heavens and the earth was for the beginning, that is to say that a person should start anew every time, as if today is his beginning, because that is the main rectification of the worlds…” (Likutei Halachot, Yoreh Deah, Laws of Meat and Milk, 4th law)  Rebbe Natan emphasizes that renewal is not just a recommendation or a psychological tactic to trick the evil inclination; renewal is the purpose of the world.  For the ‘beginning’ the world was created!

So what does it mean to renew yourself?

To be renewed is like being born again.  From the moment that I have made teshuva[3], I am new and I don’t have any more a connection with the person who sinned or made a mistake or wounded or destroyed.  I don’t know who I was yesterday.  I don’t recognize who I was an hour ago.  I am born now.  Hi, mazal tov, a Jew has come into the world.

At the outset it’s a bit difficult to understand how this works.  It’s not really true that I was born today; I was born a long time ago.  I’ve caused a lot of damage, I see it in front of my eyes.  I ate like an elephant- you can look at my weight.  It’s not connected to the past, it is now.  I caused pain to my children- you can see it now.  They run away from me.  They’re hurt.  They’re brazen.  I’m the one who did this!  I ignored my wife.  I caused her pain.  You can see how she is annoyed and pained.  The results of my actions are here and now!  How can I feel as if I am born now and everything begins again?

With faith.  Believe in the words of the Tsaddikim who say that this is the real truth.  Hashem renews the creation every day.  There is such a thing which is called ‘teshuvah’ in the world.  From the moment that you make teshuvah, you are completely made into a new person.  It’s not you who destroyed something, it’s somebody else.  You are new here in the world, and all you need to do is to look forward to what is next.

Because when you get on the scale and see again that the hand on the scale is over the limit, and it is you who because of a lack of boundaries brought yourself to these dimensions, what could give you comfort except for a warm pastry straight to the throat, or a killer day and a half diet which ends at the bakery?  When you stand in front of your child who is hurt because of you, how can you deal with the feeling of self-guilt which eats away at you?  Where can you escape to if not to despair or aggressiveness?  What will you answer to your wife after you disappointed her for the thousandth time?

However, if you are new and fresh, born today, then you are already not in a posture of self-defense and constriction because of guilt or anger about yourself.  You have become so clean that you have eyes which see the reality and not the past, and which can examine a situation in a focused way and see what your next step is.  What do we have here?  A child who is brazen to his parents.  Come child, let’s see you, what’s your name?  Ah, nice to meet you.  I’m your father.  Do you want to tell me what you’re going through?  Ah, your father insulted you?  Oy!  That is so painful!!  Why did he do that to you?  You are such a cute kid… you don’t deserve it!

You see a hurt child, but the one who hurt him, is not you.  The one who hurt him has already been gone for a long time.  Today you are new.  Today you are even the psychologist of the child.  Do you know those psychologists?  They blame the parents for everything.  Now you can also throw everything on to the parents.  It’s the ones from a long time ago.  It’s not you.  They are not blaming you!  You can hear everything about him from yesterday who hurt your child, be angry at him together with the child, understand the child and be with him completely, and not feel guilty.  Today you are something different.

This is not just a figure of speech.  This is the most healing truth and the tremendous depth of the redemption; how every day anew, from amongst everything, in every matter, and from every downfall, you can lift up your eyes to the sky and begin again.

[1] Deuteronomy

[2] The first word of the book of Genesis

[3] repentance

Parashat Ki Tetze

A Visit to the Lost and Found Department

I lost my joy with a smile which comes from my heart and reaches the eyes of the person who is opposite me… I lost trust, I lost faith, I lost innocence and hope and closeness…

lost-and-found

Harav Israel Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Monday, 9th of Elul, 5776

BS”D

Shalom beloved Jew, how are you?  Can we have a face to face discussion for a moment?

Tell me, when was the last time you felt that you are a treasure, that you are a precious Jew and beloved and likeable and pleasant?  When was the last time you felt that you are important, that you are like the only son of a loving and great king who looks at all of your movements twenty four hours a day with deep wonderment, and is just waiting to hear what’s in your mouth?  When did you feel that you are full of strength and desires and hope and trust and growth and renewal, and that you are surrounded with all of the help that you need in order to realize all of your dreams?

Do you even recognize that feeling, that you are meaningful and great, that the whole world was created for you and that everything that you go through is precious without measure?  Do you long for this love?  Do you long to feel yourself alive, and light up with desire?  Do you want to return to these treasures which have been lost?

This week’s Torah portion speaks about the matter of returning a lost object: “You shall not see the ox of your brother or his sheep or goat cast off, and hide yourself from them; you shall surely return them to your brother.  If your brother is not near you and you do not know him, then gather it inside your house, and it shall remain with you until your brother inquires after it, and you return it to him.” (Devarim[1], Chapter 22, Verses 1-2)  A Jew who finds the lost object of another, whether the owner is a relative or not or whether he knows him or not, he is obligated to take care of the lost object and to return it to its owner.

However, this mitzvah also has another dimension, which speaks of a lost object which is not an ox or a lamb, and it refers to returning something which was lost which is the deepest thing in the world: “Before a person enters this world they teach him and show him everything he needs to do and obtain in this world.  However, when he enters this world immediately it is all forgotten from him… and forgetting is the aspect of losing something, just as the Sages of blessed memory called a person who forgets ‘one who has lost something’… and a person needs to go back and request what he has lost.” (Likutei Moharan, Torah 188)

Every Jew is a treasure.  We were born like a walking diamond exchange.  However, very quickly we find ourselves like paupers- in the good case, and like beggars in the worst case.

Where are all the diamonds?

They got lost.

What do we do in this case?

In truth, nothing.

Imagine that you lost a million dollars.  Are you able to imagine something like this?  A brown envelope stuffed with cash which contains all of your wealth in this world.  You still have not managed to use it to realize your dreams and it gets lost.  Maybe it was thrown by mistake into the garbage or maybe it was stolen by some brazen guy with no heart.

Tell me, what would you do?  Or first of all tell me, what would you not do?

You would not go to the new restaurant which opened near your house.  You would not go to sleep or listen to music or see movies or buy two at the price of one… you would call the whole country to your aid, including the minister of transportation and even the prime minister.  You lost a million dollars!!  It’s not funny!!  It’s a lot of money and it’s all you have!!  You can’t forego this treasure!  Please save me!!!  A million dollars!!!

And look at us, we’ve lost much more than a million dollars, great treasures, diamonds which have no replacement; we have lost ourselves.  We have lost everything we were born to be.  We have lost faith in ourselves and how much we are worth.  We have lost our will to be ourselves and not somebody else.  We have lost love, happiness, courage, hope and our hearts.

We continue to live as if everything is normal.  We go to work, come home from work.  We eat, buy, cook the tastiest food, hear music, and get annoyed with the neighbors or with our spouse or with our children.  We speak on the phone.  Perhaps we learn Torah and fulfill the mitzvahs.  We go to sleep, wake up in the morning, force a smile and drag ourselves out the door.

How do we not stop everything and scream to the whole world to help us in our search?  How are we so indifferent and disconnected?  We lost a million dollars, and another million, and tens of thousands of more millions!!  There is no replacement copy.  We have to find what we lost- or we will perish!

However, actually, even if we will wake up to this search, where will we turn to and how do we search for such abstract treasures?  Who do we call and what do we say?  ‘Hello, is this the lost and found department?  I lost my will which is the color blue with blue hoops that are worth gold, maybe by chance you have it?… I lost my joy with a smile which comes from my heart and reaches the eyes of the person who is opposite me… I lost trust, I lost faith, I lost innocence and hope and closeness… do you hear me there?  I lost love, I don’t know how she looks because it’s been a long time, when I was still small, and maybe by chance she has a name tag?’

That’s it.  It is not as complicated as we imagine.  There is a simple and amazing address!

“His lost item is with the Tsaddik, because the Tsaddik searches for his lost object until he finds it… Therefore, a person needs to go to the Tsaddik and request and recognize his lost item, and to receive it from him…” (ibid)

Rebbe Nachman reveals to us that there is such a thing, returning lost spiritual treasures.  There is a department like this.  There is a Tsaddik like this, a Tsaddik who is the foundation of the world whose main activity is bringing the souls of the Jewish people closer to their father in Heaven.  A Tsaddik who finds for us all of the lost treasures and guards them for us, until we’ll come to request them.

All you need is to wake up and realize what you have lost, travel to Rebbe Nachman, to the lost and found department, to ask the Tsaddik to give you instructions to find the treasure and to return home wealthy.

There is such a thing.

Ask someone who knows about it.

 

 

 

[1] Deuteronomy

Parashat Matot

The Vow of a Child

You were a small child.  You didn’t know anything.  You didn’t see the whole picture.  You still hadn’t heard the teachings of a true Tsaddik.  You still hadn’t spoken with Hashem like someone speaks with a good friend.  You were small and vulnerable, frightened and in pain, and you made a vow. 

boy vow

Harav Israel Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Monday, 19th of Tammuz, 5776

The Holy Torah gave us an amazing power, and it is called vows: “Moshe spoke to the heads of the tribes of the Children of Israel, saying… If a man takes a vow to Hashem or swears an oath to establish a prohibition upon himself, he shall not desecrate his word; according to whatever comes from his mouth shall he do.” (Numbers, 30:2-3)

With the help of a vow a person can limit himself by way of this mitzvah and make holy anything in the world: “Because through the vow and oath he can make for himself a mitzvah or sin from anything in the world, even though there is not in this object itself any mitzvah or sin according to the Torah.” (Likutei Halachot, Laws of Vows, second teaching)  A person can prohibit himself something which is permitted, and as a result of this it is forbidden to him as a Torah prohibition.

Somebody can receive upon himself to give a specific amount of money to tzedakah[1], and from the moment that he received this upon himself, he is obligated to fulfill it.

Why?  Because he made a vow.

Here we enter into a fascinating subject regarding man’s soul, which is connected to the mitzvah of vows.

Many times people who come to receive counseling have very great pains and difficulties.  There are people who are not able to come close to others, they long and yearn for closeness, but if this closeness actually comes near them, they push it away aggressively.  There are those who are not able to trust, their soul is greatly opposed to it.  There are people who are not able to love.  There are others who are not able to receive love.  Some people don’t believe that they are worth anything, and it doesn’t matter how many times you promise them that they are good…

And you reach a dead end.  As much as you try, you can’t find the opening.

Do you know why?

Because when you were a small child, really small, you received terrible rejection, and in order to survive this pain you swore to yourself that you don’t need love, that love is disgusting.  It’s as if you made a vow that you’re not going to love and you won’t let yourself receive love.

Or you were torn apart by a terrible betrayal, and you made a vow not to trust anyone.

Or you had a threatening encounter with death, and in order to protect yourself you promised yourself that you don’t want to live.

Or you experienced sudden abandonment, and you decided not to be too connected with the world…

You were a small child.  You didn’t know anything.  You didn’t see the whole picture.  You still hadn’t heard the teachings of a true Tsaddik.  You still hadn’t spoken with Hashem like someone speaks with a good friend.  You were small and vulnerable, frightened and in pain, and you made a vow.  It was so long ago and you were so small that you forgot about this vow.  However, you continue to act according to it.  You think that it’s your bad luck, or some type of deep psychiatric problem, and you don’t know that it’s the small child inside of you, who grabs you by his fingernails every time you want to come close or give your trust, to love or to give, and he screams in your face: ‘You promised!  Don’t forget!  When everyone left and you were by yourself, you promised not to love anymore!  When everyone lied to you and you felt small, you promised not to believe anymore!’

And this vow guards you with frightening loyalty.  He guards you, so that you won’t be healed…

So what do we do?

Nullification of vows.

How do we fulfill the nullification of our vows?

We need to go to the sage.

“And this is why the Torah began the subject of vows with the words: ‘Moshe spoke to the heads of the tribes’… because the mitzvah of vows and oaths depends on the heads of the tribes who were the great leaders of the generation… since the main aspect of the vow comes from the sage of the generation, therefore he surely has the power to nullify the vow and uproot it.” (Likutei Halachot, ibid)

When a person wants to nullify his vow he goes to the sage.  The sage sits with the man, speaks with him and searches for the opening.  ‘If you know had known at the time of the vow that so and so would happen, also then would you have made the vow?’

And this is what we need to do with the people who made vows a long time ago when they were children.  We meet the child from long ago, who made the promise, and we nullify his vow.

And this only the sage, the true Tsaddik, who has the clear knowledge that everything is good and everything is for the best all the time, can do.  He sees the complete picture of this world in all its details, with all the pain and injuries along the way, and everything that you ruined or was ruined inside of you.  He believes with complete faith that you are good and that you are marching towards the complete good.

Only he can speak with that small child and find the opening to nullify his vow.

A small and precious child like you, if once, when everyone expressed love for your brother and forgot that you exist, you would have felt the great love that Hashem loves you like an only child and he waits for you with open arms and with listening ears, also then would you have sworn that you don’t want any connection or love?

If you had known that you are an amazing person and that there is no one like you in the world, that you have a special mission in the world that only you can carry out, also then would you have decided that it’s preferable to die than to live?

If you had known that all the rejections you suffered and all the times they betrayed you and all the times you were abandoned were with special Divine providence, in order to prepare you for your special role here in the world, also then would you have vowed not to believe anyone and never to come close to anyone?

The true Tsaddik reveals to us the hidden dimension of the reality, the internal dimension, the deeper truth.  He reveals to us parts of the complete picture.  He tells us secrets which are behind the curtain.  He returns with us to the past, to the places of pain and tearing, and show us how specifically this way was the best for us.

And there he finds for us the opening to nullify all of the types of vows which we made on ourselves.

[1] charity

Parashat Balak

The Power of Choice

Correct, I want good. But I am only a man in a world of concealment, with an evil inclination and desires and an enormous power of choice, and what if I’ll make a mistake and lose my direction?

choice

 

Harav Israel Asulin

Monday, 5th of Tammuz, 5776

BS”D

Burning with desire and yearning, Bilam goes out to curse the Jewish people.

He knows that Hashem loves the Jewish people greatly, that the Jewish people are the chosen and blessed nation amongst the nations, and that no father would let someone curse his children, in any situation.  Nevertheless, he is stubborn.

Hashem says to him explicitly, “you shall not go with them!  You shall not curse the people, for it is blessed!” (Numbers, 22:12)  All that he hears is “don’t go with them”- with the original ministers Hashem does not let him go, but if Balak brings him ministers that are greater than them- then there is a chance.  Balak sends to him ministers that are superior, “and then when they came again and Hashem saw his incredible, impure desire to go with them, Hashem said to him: ‘if the men came to summon you, arise and go with them’ (Numbers, 22:20)…” (Likutei Halachot, Laws of morning blessings, 5th teaching); and Bilam arises in the morning, full of fervent hatred, saddles his donkey and goes out to curse the Jewish people.

“After this when he went, his donkey stood there three times and was oppressed by the angel that came toward him to follow him.  He did not pay attention to this and went on his evil way, until Hashem opened his donkey’s mouth and spoke to him and reprimanded him.  Afterwards Hashem revealed to him the angel who was positioned toward him with a drawn sword… nevertheless Hashem did not want to nullify his will… and Hashem responded to him according to his will ‘Go with these men’ .  It was all because of his choice, like our Rabbis of blessed memory said on this Torah portion ‘on the path a man wants to go, in that way he is lead’ …”[1]

Terrifying!

A person wants something, he asks Hashem and Hashem says to him no.  He continues to want, and becomes wise, and he does not relax.  Until Hashem says to him- do you know what? You want it so badly?!  Please, do whatever you want. Get up, and go with them.

What does this mean?  That Hashem agrees with him?  That this is the correct path? That he is going the right direction?

No. It means that this is a bad and mistaken path that leads to destruction.

Why doesn’t Hashem forbid him with a serious prohibition to go with them?  How does he allow him to go?  He should make an earthquake or a Tsunami.  He should explode the walking trails to Moab and its entire infrastructure.  He should make a flood.  He should mix up their language.   He should block him from going!  Why does he let him walk in this destructive path?  And he even says to him: “okay, you can go,” why?

Rebbe Natan teaches: “And we see in this Torah portion the main aspect of power of choice, when Bilam goes to curse the Jewish people, and how Hashem behaves with him.  Because his will was very strong to curse them… and the principle part of the power of choice is by means of Hashem hiding and concealing his will with great concealment…”[2]

This world is called “Olam” from the language of concealment and forgetfulness.  There is an idea that the will of Hashem should be hidden, there is an idea that the Satan will succeed and make us forget the reality of Hashem.  There is an idea like this.  So we will be able to choose.   So we won’t be like puppets.  So we won’t be forced.  So we don’t have only one path, rather a few paths, and that we’ll choose the correct one.

When we think about this deeply, we are shocked. As long as we are speaking about the evil Bilam and his choices, we can look at this from the side and become angry at his horrifying blindness, however when it comes close to us and touches our choices, it begins to stress us out.

Correct, I want good. But I am only a man in a world of concealment, with an evil inclination and desires and an enormous power of choice, and even without the power of prophecy that rested upon Bilam!  And what if I’ll make a mistake and lose my direction?

Behold in the direction I want to go, I will be lead!!

What does that mean I will be lead? It means that there is a path I am supposed to go on, and if I suddenly chose to turn left to the bad side, not only do they not place a barrier and puncture my tires and turn off my headlights; rather they even pave the roads for me and provide for me fast highways and they exchange for me the Subaru with a Jeep with a full tank of gas and a good engine…

They help me on this path!

I am lead on the mistaken path that I chose!

And this is scary!  If I don’t have a verbal Waze program which will get me back on the path each time, then how can I be saved and remain with the good?

This question takes us back to personal prayer, which Bilam relates to with curses that are turned into blessings:  “it is a nation that will dwell alone” (Bamidbar Chapter 23, Verse 9) – a nation that has personal prayer.  A nation that for an hour a day separates from the ways of the world and turns a back to the race and to the interests that trick us and speaks to Hashem.

Personal prayer is our place to speak about our true desires.  To tell about the forces that pull us toward the bad, about the bad desires, about the difficulties, about the evil inclination and all his soldiers who depict to us black as light and pleasant.  And to request our real truth, that after everything and before everything- only this we want, to serve only You, Master of the world.

Regarding a prayer like this our Sages said:  ‘Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except for fear of heaven’ – and the great Chassidic masters taught, that all of the prayers that a man prays, they are given into the hands of Heaven to receive them or not, but a man who prays for fear of Heaven and requests to merit to know the path that he should go on, then for sure his prayers will be received and he will merit to go on the true path!!!

[1] Likutei Halachot, ibid

[2] Likutei Halachot, ibid

Parashat Chukat

Without Blows

Think about all the desolate deserts in our life and of all the closed dry and jaded rocks, that are blocking our view and choking us like a bone in our throat.  Everything that we want is water.  That the rock will burst open, please, the faster the better, and that the abundance will flow and wash and bring salvation!

moshe-striking-rock

Harav Israel Asulin

Wednesday, 30th of Sivan, 5776

BS”D

After a forty year supernatural trek in the desert, something changes.   The prophetess, Miriam, passes away, and along with her passing her well also disappears.  In Miriam’s merit her well provided the entire nation with water.

Now the nation of Israel has nothing to drink.

Moshe and Aharon pray before Hashem for the thirsty nation, and Hashem commands Moshe to gather the entire congregation around some rock and to talk to the rock in order to bring water forth from it.  Then the mistake occurs, Moshe hits the rock instead of speaking to it.  Even though the hitting caused water to come out of the rock, this incident also caused Moshe and Aharon to be punished with a severe punishment – they would not merit entering into the land of Israel.

One needs to understand, what was Moshe and Aharon’s critical mistake, which caused such a severe punishment?  What is the big difference between hitting a rock and talking to a rock?   In any event a great and open miracle still happened when a dry rock brought forth water in the middle of the desert, so what’s the difference between using words or blows?

Rebbe Nachman explains in Likutei Moharan (Torah 20):  “This is the mistake that Moshe made, Hashem spoke to Moshe saying, ‘Take the staff and gather together the assembly, you and Aaron your brother, and speak to the rock before their eyes[1]’… that is to say he should pour out his conversation and his prayers like a pauper, to the rock… But he did not do this…’and (he) struck the rock with his staff twice[2]’…just like someone taking something with strength and coercion…because someone who forces the moment, the moment gets back at him, and therefore he passed away before his time…”

Think about this situation- a dry and desolate desert, an entire nation, hysterical from dehydration, and a large, hard and dry rock.  What everyone wants right now is only water, a lot of water, and enough water.

In order to extract water from the rock, Moshe is commanded to pray in the fashion of speech and not in the fashion of a staff.

Prayer by the staff, which represents a leadership of strength and rule, is a prayer where a person, so to speak, forces Hashem to answer him.  It is like he is taking something with strength and coercion, and this is called ‘forcing the moment’.  The strength that you exert returns to you, and hits you back in return, “ and from this we learn, a man should not force himself on anything rather to request with pleas; if Hashem gives to him- he gives, and if not- not…”

However, prayer by way of speech is something soft, fancy, not aggressive- to request, to plead, without exerting strength.

Read these words of our Rebbe, and think about all the desolate deserts in our life and of all the closed dry and jaded rocks, that are blocking our view and choking us like a bone in our throat.  Everything that we want is water.  That the rock will burst open, please, the faster the better, and that the abundance will flow and wash and bring salvation!

And then people come and say- wait, don’t force the moment!  Don’t use strength!  Wait with patience, request gently, don’t insist, don’t hit; speak!

This is difficult! How can one not force the moment?  I want something so badly.  I don’t just want. I need it desperately!  I need money immediately or children or a spouse or work…I have to have it immediately!  The redemption is delayed and the distress is stuck in my throat like a rock! How long do I need to suffer from it?  It should move already!!  How can you tell me not to use strength?  How can I pray so I won’t get hit back in return?  How can I pray so that I will be drawn closer to the light and to the redemption?

Exactly, there is prayer and then there is prayer.

There is a prayer in which you insist upon something in particular, that it should happen already.  In the meantime you hit your head on the rocks, until your head, or the rock, or both burst open.

In contrast, there is personal prayer.  In personal prayer you don’t come and demand what you see as your goal.  You don’t approach it like you’re coming to someone who has to give you something that he has in his hand, and as much as you plead before him, he says to you ‘leave me alone there’s nothing to speak about’…  Rather you approach personal prayer as if you are coming to a true good friend.

If you are in financial distress and you run into a true good friend, do you start to hassle him and say: “Give me money! Fast! I need money! Now!”  Like that?!  Or are you pleasant with him and say: “Hi, how nice to run into you!  I need to tell you what I am going through, for so long I have been stewing with this alone.  Do you understand?  I don’t have enough money and I don’t know what to do.  It’s really difficult.  I am choking.  It’s difficult for me.  It’s very difficult for me.  There are so many necessities in this world and everything cost money.  If only it was possible to live in this world without needing money.  This hysterical race after money is very difficult!  It is not yet even in your hands, and it has already been taken from between your fingers!”…

What a difference!  What a relief!

When you merit coming to Hashem like this, you suddenly see how, slowly, everything happens.

It is a lot more than hitting the rock in anger or opposition or despair; it is like speaking, drinking until your thirst is quenched and climbing on top of the rock to a higher and more amazing place.

And from there to touch new horizons.

[1] Bamidbar Chapter 20 Verse 8

[2] Bamidbar et al

**This is the same article we posted last year but it has been edited.

Parashat Bamidbar

Your Honor Is In Your Place

There was some character who entered his imagination when he was really small and he became that character, someone who he met once… It’s simple, he got confused!  He is not even that image!  He is something completely different!  He needs to return to his place, and not move from it… because every other will not be truly satisfying.  Every other place will be painful and disconnected.

home sweet home

Rav Yisrael Asulin

Translated by Moshe Neveloff

Monday, 22nd of Iyar, 5776

BS”D

For forty years the Jewish people walked in the desert.  Not just one family or one tribe, rather an entire people.  Not for a week, or a month, or a year; forty years.

Millions of people of different ages marching in arid conditions amidst wars; and it was all conducted with incredible order and exact planning.

Each tribe had its own flag in this enormous procession, each family had its exact place in this gigantic camp, and each person was required to ‘know his place’ very well: “Every man at his camp and every man at his banner, according to their legions.” (Numbers, 1:52)  Without going astray, without changing places and without getting out of line.  Each person- his honor was in his place.

To stand in place without moving

Seemingly it’s hard to understand.  What is so important if I stand north of the tabernacle or to the east of it?  What will happen if a man from the tribe of Reuven moves to the tribe of Dan?  What is the reason for the intensive occupation with place?

Rebbe Natan explains that we are not speaking about graphical numbers or demographic spreads.  It doesn’t end with the technical location of your encampments and journeys, it is a critical principle in the service of Hashem: “Each person needs to be careful to stand in his place and not to ruin the boundary and enter the boundary of his friend… therefore Moshe warned them: ‘every man at his camp and every man at his banner’… that through this each person merits to walk in the paths of teshuva[1], and through this he is made into the aspect of man” (Likutei Halachot, laws of blessings on fruits, 5th teaching, 20th paragraph)

And not just them, there in the desert, also today for us, here and now, without the tabernacle and flags and divisions into tribes, each Jew must know himself and his place specifically, for his good.  He shouldn’t try to enter a mold which is not appropriate for him and doesn’t belong to him.  He shouldn’t try to ‘change places’.  He shouldn’t raise the flag of somebody else.

When the flag is not yours, it’s not even at half mast

Seemingly, it sounds simple and understood.  It’s clear that I’m in my place and not in another mold.  It’s clear that I’m myself and not somebody else…

However you need to know that each one of us, whether consciously or unconsciously has a flag in his consciousness.  Each person has a silent picture, which was drawn already when he was a small child, sensory and colorful and detailed, about what he is supposed to be and how his life’s path is supposed to look.

It’s possible to meet with a person who complains to you about a crises.  It’s bitter for him, it’s bad for him.  He’s stuck.  He’s not satisfied with himself.  He’s not realizing his potential.  He’s full of feelings of guilt and regret.  He’s certain that he has no luck and he’s a schlimazel and unsuccessful.  He has so many expectations and requirements of himself which are unrealized.  He feels chained and imprisoned and lacking wings.  He feels that no one hears him, nobody sees him, and no one appreciates him.  He feels that he’s not in his place… and when you check with him the objective facts of his life and find that they are excellent, when on the surface everything seems great and promising and proves actual success, when there’s no concrete reason in the present for his difficult feelings, then you may begin to search after a bad and bitter and especially hidden past, which might be casting a shadow on his current life and not allowing him to be everything that he wants…

And with one small investigation, it’s possible to reveal that he’s just confused, and this image that he’s not able to be, is not even what he truly wants and needs to be.  Because by mistake he switched places and sat on a seat which is not his.

Who is your hero?

There was some character who entered his imagination when he was really small and he became that character; an internal hero in the image of some actor or singer or general or the king of the class went inside of him… someone who he met once in a movie or a bestselling book or a magical street advertisement conquered his imagination, and without paying attention, this character became his subconscious model.

He didn’t even know that he admires this character and wanted to be like him.  He didn’t know that he aspired to reach this character’s place, and that it’s not even his place.  He was convinced that these are his desires which are leading him.  Nevertheless he felt that he’s not in his place, that he’s not enough and that it’s not enough.

And what really happened?

This image stood between him and the mirror, conquering, dividing and hiding the view from him…

He just moved from his place.

Do you understand what happened?  It’s simple, he got confused!  He is not even that image!  He is something completely different!  He needs to return to his place, and not move from it… because every other will not be truly satisfying.  Every other place will be painful and disconnected.

Moshe Rabbeinu[2] and Rebbe Zusha- Parting from the Imaginary Model

Come and get to know yourself again, your true self, and from there connect.  Disconnect yourself from the social self, from the internal, admired, and legendary hero who clothed himself upon you and conquered your thoughts and feelings, and connect, finally, to your place, to your pure, basic and true self… and be what you truly want to be.  What you need to truly be.  What you are, without the imaginary character inside of you who caused you to raise a flag which is not yours.

To be someone else, not who you are supposed to be- you’ll never be able to be, and that’s a miracle.  Because what will you do in heaven with the character who dressed himself in your clothes?!  What will be with you?!

It’s told that Rebbe Zusha from Anipoli once said: “In heaven they won’t ask me why I wasn’t Moshe Rabbeinu; they’ll ask me why I wasn’t Zusha…”

So remain in your place, your true place.  The place which is just waiting for you to live, a true life without comparisons.

Be your “Zusha”, and not the Moshe Rabbeinu who you are not.

[1] Repentance

[2] Our teacher